Frustrated with “Education”
I am postponing a life I desperately want because I discerned a need for some time to slow down the hectic pace of my life since marriage almost a decade ago, and get some training before entering the next chapter of life.
So, when we discovered HBU’s accelerated Masters of Theology program, while disappointed about 3 more years in Houston, we jumped at the chance for me to finish my college education while living near family and friends.
But I am growing very frustrated with the education I am receiving. My minor, Philosophy, is almost 100% exempt from this criticism, since I have no complaints or frustrations other than the general difficulty of the topics we cover. My major, however, (Theology) is very frustrating.
The frustrating thing is this: I am paying tons of money, going into a sizable amount of debt, and sacrificing 3 years of full-time ministry… yet I am not really learning much. I don’t mean this to be crude or uppity. I mean this to say that in large part, HBU doesn’t seem to be that interested in me truly learning anything.
ex. I took a class called Old Testament Theology. In class, we did discuss a little theology, though it was extremely basic, and sought to learn about God from the OT, but the questions on the tests were almost 100% OT trivia (actual question from exam: Who were Joseph’s two sons?).
Not once, in any theology course thus far, have I been asked to engage with a single text or doctrine in any meaningful way. Nor have I been taught any skills to do so if it had been required. Success seems to be more about regurgitating dates, names, and facts than about growing in any way. There seems to be no interest in whether I am growing closer to God or not through my studies.
Luckily, this is not 100% true. My Christian Worship and Music class is a perfect example of what I had hoped these years would be like. We pray… every class. No exceptions. And they’re not short God bless us, amen prayers, either. They begin with The Valley of Vision, and are followed by extemporaneous prayer that lasts 5-10 minutes. The “lecture” that follows can hardly be called a lecture at all. Dr. Blackmon preaches for an hour, and his sermons are some of the most theologically rich and scripture soaked sermons one could hope for. But, this course (and professor) are far from the normative experience at HBU.
I’m really wrestling with this. It’s a daily struggle to try to manage a life that includes being a dedicated follower of God, a husband, a father, a pastor, and finally a student. It’s practically impossible, and every day is a gift of grace. And, while I would like to have a MA in Theology, since it would be helpful for putting food on my family, as it were, I also know that it is completely unnecessary (as a potential employer in the part of the world we feel called to reminded me just 2 days ago).
When the reality is that I don’t need a MA, and I’m learning so little, even though so much is required of me, I wonder if it’s worth it.
